It's my life…

yes, i am sick…..

1. I have high blood pressure, yes, no family history, dunno y…it just comes suddenly, not on any medication yet, n i hope i will not have to start on any…

2. cyst in my left ovary,,,i am only 31 this year, but i have a 4.3cm cyst inside my left ovary….when it gets to 5-6cm, i will have to remove it,…hopefully it will just disappear on its own…

3. stress….ya,i know. who is not stress right? but when i start to quarrel with vincent almost other day, when i need to bite n peel my thumbs and foot till they bleed, when i toss n turn around in bed at least once a week, maybe it’t time for me to do something…

give me one month, i hope by the time i write my next entry, i would have done something for next yr….

it’s happy to know that i am being recognised and rewareded for having high PB….but hor, is it worth it?
I….
1.am still waking up early to mark my compos
2.only carry chloe for like 20 mins a day during weekdays
3. am too tired to read to claire n chloe during the weekdays
4.always fall asleep while taking care of them during the weekends
5.get very frustrated when vincent is too slow paced
6. am not sleeping well at night, talks in my sleep
7. no time for myself
8. no time to record chloe’s growth

i know i need to do something, i know i need to make some changes or adjustments to my work but i am not sure wat….i am so resistant to changes…..sigh…

i guess its really not easy to handle 2 kids alone at home…neither do i want to get a maid….so how? pray for them to grow up fast n be guai guai n every weekend home alone with the 2 gers will pass by smoothly lor….

Whenever i thought of a full weekend without vincent at home…i get kind of scared….i am so afraid of not being able to manage the 2 gers by myself…n it can be very physically tiring. Being a busy teacher in school is already damn shag for me on weekdays…

Now that CCM programme has started, most of the stuff are finalised, CNY concert is just tomorrow, hopefully i will have more time for marking n that i do not have to wake up at 5 am in the morning to mark my compos!!!

1. Claire slaps her frens

2. Claire pushes her frens

3. Claire pulls her classmates’ hair

4. 她要抢的东西，没人抢得过她

5. 她非常聪明，老师做的都会学

6. She just wants her way

7. 欺负她可以欺负的同学

8. 人小小，声音很大

9. 脾气不好

10. keeps being a tyrant in class

yaya…all these complaints are all from Claire’s teachers. I dunno how should i go about disciplining her, should i get a cane ready?

I seriously feel that i am a hardworking person, n i seldom take MCs.  But my leave (medical + maternity + hospitalisation) for 2010:

1. Some day in Mar: Medical leave for running nose and throat inflammation

2. 19 April – 8 Aug : 16 weeks maternity leave

3. 11 Sep – 30 Sep :white backslab

4. 28 Sep – 15 Oct : pink cast

5. 16 Oct – 11 Nov : orange cast

Just removed my cast on Monday, and the Doc said my foot is healing (not healed), but will be able to walk liao…go slow with exercise, no jogging yet, best to swim. and the Doc parting sentence: Maybe you would like to lose some weight. (HAHAHA!!!!)

So, right now,  i am still walking slowly to adjust my weight onto my left foot…it’s still not very flexible, cannot bend well….and slightly swollen….hmmm…i wonder how long it will take to recover fully…

Claire:

1. LOVES to read story books, both english and Chinese ones…I should be happy about this right, but she asks me to read the same stories over and over again like 4 times a day!! So sometimes when we are bz, she will have to read on her own, n trust me, she can almost memorize the whole story already

2. LOVES to 自问自答, eg.  Firstly, Mummy want? Dun want ah? Dun want?? orrhh…dun want…Secondly, BABA want? dun want ah? dun want?? orrhh…dun want…Thirdly, Ah-ma want? dun want ah? dun want? orrhh..dun want… i think if ah gong, popo and gong gong around, she will repeat like 6 times..

3. LOVES to wear her own diapers….n of course, this is not allowed at home cos we dun want her urine in anywhere else except inside her diapers

4. still cannot get used to the potty. she will only let us know when she finish her big business and actually scared of going to the potty for her business

5. LOVES to sing and dance at top of her voice

6. IS cute but VERY bad–tempered

7. always beat pple when angry…

8. LOVES to sleep on the floor…(platform to be exact)

9. Loves to drink soup…will forsake her food for soup…

Chloe:

1. LOVES to grab things and play

2. LAUGHs out loud when playing

3. is a smiley baby, but might cry when she sees stangers

4. is trying to lift up her butts to move forward already

5. LOVEs her superman pose, and is on her tummy most of the time

6. can hold her milk bottle for 5 seconds already when drinking milk

7. can put her pacifier in her mouth on her own

8. has 2 lower teeth liao….bite mummy somemore while latching…ouch!!

I wonder how am i supposed to have me-time. either I am at work, or i am at home with the 2 small kids… I find it quite impossible to have this kind of me-time.

The only me-time i can think of is the possible time i might have after SA2 exams,, all supp classes end, no results review meetings, all evidences found…then i should be able to have some me-time. I am lucky to have some time now that claire is in school and Chloe is asleep…

Or should i be as crazy as Vincent to sleep at 2 plus in the night just to have the me-time?

Sep holidays 2010

8 Sep: Went home rather early as I was not feeling well, wanted to catch a nap but Chloe shitted on our bed, so bo bian, had to change the bedsheets. Parents came over to visit as I was alone with the 2 kids and also not feeling well. Climbed up the stool to get bedsheets, changed everything and climbed up to put the remaining stuff back. Just as I was coming down, I lost my balance and came down with my left foor inverted. Heard a crack sound, and fell onto the floor in pain. My parents wanted to bring me to A&E immediately, but we changed our mind and went to a Chinese physician instead as my father felt from such a low height, should not be too big a problem. I din want to waste their time waiting at A&E either, so i agreed. Smsed Vincent OTW to see doc and lucky he managed to take time off and came to look for us in Bedok. Chinese physician did acupunture and massage a little but it was too painful so he stopped after a while. Gave me a bottle of medicine, charged me $65 and told me to come back on fri. We did asked if there was any fracture and he said :”应该是没有”，altho his partner in the clinic already find it quite weird for me to be in so much pain. but the doc insisted that it’s because i could not take the pain, thats y….

9 Sep: went to see doc for my fever. Dr Chang said to check for swelling and 淤血，that would mean it could be a fracture. made appt for chloe to go for her 4th month vaccination in the afternoon, but Chloe was sick, so we went to see doc instead. I was limping with my bandaged left foot and nurse even jokingly said:”wat a waste to fall down during the sch hols”, as she knew i was a teacher. I thot my left foot din hurt as bad, so I told my father that when he called to check on me.

10 Sep: Before going back to the Chinese physician, I decided to take out my bandage and wash it. ok, my left foot is still swollen and i could see some 淤血, hhmmmm…a bad sign. Went back to the Chinese physician after vincent came back from work, still the doc did the same thing, acupunture and massage, but again massage too painful. I was in so much pain that the doc said that my pain tolerant level cannot tell whether it is a fracture. So we asked him again whether it could be a fracture, he said to continue with the medicine and if still painful by monday, do get x-ray done.

11 Sep: I wanted to know the answer sooner, so i told vincent to take me to CGH A&E to get x-ray done. I thot i could limped there, need not use a wheelchair at all. So i limped in and out to see the doc and get x-ray done. After the x-ray, i went in to see doc again, and he confirmed its a fracture in my left foot, and advised me to stop walking, must use wheelchair. OOPS! He also gave me hospitalization leave till 30 sep, which i already thot was too long as i was teaching P6. Appt booked for review on the 28th, so quickly called to make sure school coulg get a relief teacher on time. I honestly thot by 30th sep, i could start to walk.

12-28 Sep: Stayed at home most of the time with a broken foot. (17 Sep: went back to school to pick up my marking and rented a wheelchair; 20 Sep: Claire n Chloe vaccination; 22 Sep: took claire downstairs for a stroll as it was mid autumn; 24 sep: Compass point for short afternoon break-decided to buy 2 DVDs drama back to kill time)

28 Sep: Back in CGH for review, thot going to remove cast already, even asked Vincent to take some photos and bring one pair of sandals there because i will be able to walk soon!!! But alas! Doc said will take another 3 weeks to recover, thats the normal time needed. AAARRGGHHH!!! So I went to take x-ray again and put into another pink cast. So quickly informed school and HOD again that my leave is extended till 15 oct…waste more taxpayers’ money!! And I still cannot work….

I am regretting this already…i hate changes…n i am too lazy to face changes…can anyone tell me where are my photo albums? will transfer here from space?